Comparing orgasm from female masturbation and with a partner

Graphs are not very exciting concepts but nevertheless they can be useful. Imagine the male orgasm graph which looks a little like a vertical phallic symbol. Then imagine the female orgasm graph which looks like the outline of a woman’s vulva.
The male experience is shorter but more intense. The female experience is longer but lower overall. My experience of female masturbation is that the initial phase can be horizontal – nothing happens. I lie there waiting for the inspiration of an effective fantasy.
But once that spark takes light, my experience is similar to a man’s. Within a minute or two the whole thing is over. The build up is quick and the sensations of release are sexually satisfying. The aftermath of orgasm involves a sense of relief followed by blissful relaxation.
Build up with a partner takes much longer than a few seconds. But also the sensations are more pleasurable and physically intense as he stimulates me. My mind has no conscious focus except the sensations of my partner touching me and thinking about his erection.
For me, orgasm with a partner includes pelvic contractions but there is not the same sense of release. Using fantasy allows me to be the woman but also to identify with the man at the point of orgasm as he thrusts and ejaculates to orgasm. Perhaps this ability to superimpose the act of male ejaculation on my orgasm produces my sense of release.
During female masturbation, whatever sexual activity I am imagining (usually anal sex or occasionally fellatio), my focus at the point of orgasm is thinking about the man’s orgasm. The act of ejaculation is highly graphic and, for me, symbolises the sexual satisfaction of my own orgasm.
I approached sex initially as a man must. I hoped to feel sexual arousal and that I would be able to reach orgasm during sex. I was bitterly disappointed as many women are, who are familiar with orgasm from female masturbation, when they first come to sex. I concluded that the female mind and body simply do not respond to sex as a man’s mind and body do.
I also concluded that the impression that women respond similarly to men must be a result of sexual fantasies. Since talking to other women, I now know that women interpret emotional sensations as if they represent true sexual arousal and orgasm.
When women like myself ask about lack of orgasm, experts often refer to inhibition or to psychological trauma that might have caused a woman to view sex as ‘dirty’ or as a ‘violation’ rather than a loving act involving mutual sexual pleasure. I challenge this suggestion – it seems more likely that the reverse is likely to be true.
Women who masturbate to orgasm are LESS sexually inhibited than other women. Not only do they appreciate eroticism enough to enjoy their own sexual fantasies when alone. They are also more willing to engage on a variety of sexual activities with a partner to explore how they might enjoy their own sexual arousal during sex.