Masturbation is a crucial stage in the development of male sexuality where boys learn how to bring their state of sexual arousal to orgasm. Against all logic, it is often implied that a woman can hope for orgasm from her sexual relationship without the need for the same learning process.
Some women say that they have masturbated but that they found the activity uninteresting or lacking in emotional context. I remember as a teenager occasionally experimenting by touching my body, in the bath for instance, just to see if anything sexual might happen. Of course it never did because women’s sexual arousal and orgasm is not automatic like a man’s tends to be.
Any ineffectual touching of a person’s genitals could be described as masturbation and little girls often touch themselves in this casual way. A better definition would be to describe masturbation as an activity where a person has at least the intention of enjoying sexual arousal and orgasm.
Unfortunately, no one ever spells out that, just as men use pictures during masturbation, women need to use highly explicit sexual fantasies. Any woman who learns how to masturbate herself to orgasm is likely to be motivated to engage in the activity.
Positive benefits of female masturbation
If they do discover masturbation to orgasm, women are typically older than their male peers and often they have already had the experience of a sexual relationship. Unfortunately female masturbation is relatively uncommon and so many women are unfamiliar with orgasm. A woman needs the opportunity and privacy to explore her own body’s responses, usually during a period of being single. The clitoris is naturally (because it is the female sex organ) the focus for women’s physical stimulation. Women use erotica and sexual fantasies for psychological arousal.
“…many boys, and nearly all girls, are taught that masturbation is evil, … This is nonsense, of course; masturbation has several very positive values, especially for women.… In childhood and adolescence it teaches a girl to explore her body and not to be ashamed of its shape, its texture, and its surfaces. It teaches her, especially, not to be ashamed of touching and playing with her genitals. It does more. It helps a girl become aware of her response to sexual stimuli and to recognize the stages of sexual arousal. And it enables a girl to develop her own sexuality – to know what she enjoys and what she dislikes – which is important if she is to be fulfilled sexually later.” (p107 EveryMan 1980)
On the positive side, masturbation is an innocent pleasure that has no harmful side effects either for the individual or for the couple’s sexual relationship. Women can learn how to orgasm by combining their sexual fantasies with genital simulation if they are provided with knowledge about their bodies and their sexual psychology.
By Jane Thomas founder of Ways Women Orgasm http://www.wayswomenorgasm.org
Monday 14 September 2009
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