How a woman can learn how to masturbate

If a woman is open-minded to the idea of exploring eroticism, she should start by reading some erotic literature. If she has liberated friends it may be worth getting some recommendations. I suggest:
‘Emmanuelle’ by Emmanuelle Arsan: relates the sexual adventures of young women;
‘The Happy Hooker’ by Xaviera Hollander: describes the author’s experiences of pleasuring men as a high-class prostitute and the madam of a brothel; and
‘The Story of O’ by Pauline Reage: describes a fantasy castle setting where men use women for their pleasure (includes sadism). Remember not to judge – this is fantasy!
I read these books while still a teenager and I am confident that any heterosexual woman should be able to enjoy at least some of the explicitly sexual scenarios.
Remember that the key focus is not your body or what you are doing with it but what is happening in your mind. Physical stimulation helps to bring your mental state of sexual arousal to orgasm. So if you are not mentally turned on then don’t even start on physical stimulation of any kind because there’s no point.
Women who spend most of their lives in a long-term relationship (e.g. marriage) often never learn how to masturbate. Since men’s sexual pleasure is so much more easily achieved, a sexual relationship tends to revolve around male orgasm. I found that, once I had a man in my bed, any suggestion of enjoying my own orgasm through female masturbation alone, led all too easily to my partner wanting to orgasm through sex.
A man needs to allow his woman privacy and to avoid interrogating her afterwards. To enjoy our own sexual arousal we need to feel free to explore our sexual fantasies. This is difficult if we think we may have to justify them to someone else later. Just think how you would feel!
Read these books in private; preferably when the house is empty. After reading a book, return to the sections that you found most arousing. Enjoy reading these and imagining yourself in the title role. Then spend some private time perhaps on the bed gently touching your clitoral/vulva area while reading the most arousing passages or while re-living them in your mind.
“To masturbate, fantasizing, or getting into an aroused state mentally is important. Also, for me, being alone is important. I use the tips of my fingers for actual stimulation, but it’s better to start with patting motions or light rubbing motions over the general area.” (p81 The Hite Report 1976)
Find a comfortable position (different women masturbate in different positions) and explore different ways of gently stimulating your pubic area (vulva and over the clitoral hood). Women use a pillow, or other object or just their fingers. When I first learned how to masturbate, I would rub my vulva through my underwear. Later I found that I enjoyed more focused clitoral stimulation by using my fingers directly on the skin.
If all else fails then buy a vibrator from a sex store. Take a look at the female-friendly websites: www.BabelandNY.com for the US or the Canada based www.BittenLip.com.
The women who replied to Shere Hite’s questionnaire in 1976 described their experience of female masturbation as follows:
73% – stimulate their clitoral/vulva area with hand while lying on their back
5.5% – stimulate their clitoral/vulva area with hand while lying on their front
4% – press their clitoral/vulva area against a soft object e.g. pillow
3% – press thighs together rhythmically
1.5% – water massage of clitoral/vulva area
11% – women who masturbate in more than one of above ways
So once again, I’m a freak – well in the 5% category! Why be like everyone else? Women are most usually depicted masturbating on their backs. This makes sense because the audience can then see what she is doing. So, is it that most women say they masturbate on their backs because they do or is it that they imagine that this is how a woman should masturbate? My mind is open either way.