How female sexuality differs to male sexuality

Many heterosexual men and women like the fact that the opposite sex is fundamentally different.
Men are MEN – macho, sometimes a little insensitive, largely disinterested in how they look, social issues or children.
Women are WOMEN – pretty, sometimes a little controlling, largely disinterested in getting dirty, doing battle or anything remotely technical.
When we generalise we need to be careful not to imply that everyone is completely categorised by their gender. Gender and the associated hormone drives need not always totally determine our individual priorities in life.
“Both men and women seem to accept that gender differences will remain.” (p6 Bluffer’s Guide to Men)
We happily accept that men and women have different physical constraints (so men still fight and play sport separately from women) but the issue of emotional drives is a more sensitive topic. My mission has been to try to get some acknowledgement of the different emotional drives that influence our lives.
Naturally there is defensiveness surrounding the sexual politics of heterosexual society. So no one questions why women spend so much time on their looks and men accept subsidising women’s lifestyle. It’s as if no one wants to admit what we stand to gain from the other sex. Women’s financial dependence on men is an especially sensitive issue because of the social custom of women trading sex for money.
It is really quite shocking that even today in our age of information and supposed liberation (and despite the overwhelming evidence from prostitution, pornography, etc.) there is no official recognition that men have a stronger sex drive than women. Even though society claims to want to protect young people, there is a lack of willingness to be honest about sex.
Although Shere Hite proposed how women reach orgasm with a partner in the 1970’s, this information is rarely provided for young women’s benefit today. This is because the vast majority of women approach sex through their relationship with a partner. They have no appreciation of enjoying sexual arousal through genital stimulation as men do.
So young women continue to be encouraged to hope that they will orgasm as easily as men do from vaginal intercourse despite the known difficulties. Women who approach sex as men do, through masturbation and genital stimulation, are not provided with the facts about female sexuality and so they conclude that they must be sexually inadequate when they are, in fact, completely normal.
If we understand what makes each other tick, there is the hope that men and women might be able to live together more harmoniously. There needs to be more honesty about pornography – what is exploitative and what is simply innocent eroticism. There also needs to be more promotion of the importance of appreciating eroticism and learning about sexual arousal through female masturbation.
If men want to enjoy sex in the longer-term they need to find a woman who cares about them enough to invest in their sex life together. In a positive relationship, where there is a willingness to give on both sides, a couple can enjoy sharing emotional and physical intimacy by being more honest about the rewards.
In the longer term, a man hopes for a partner who is positively enthusiastic about their intimate time together. For example, a man hopes for a lover who:
is open to the concept of eroticism
is willing to explore sexual activities with a partner
respects a man’s sexual fantasies
responds lovingly and sensitively as a lover
I know from my own experience that it is possible for a woman to enjoy the physical intimacy of a sexual relationship with a man. However, since it is much more difficult for a woman to enjoy orgasm with a lover, she needs to be prepared to invest in her sexual relationship for her lover’s benefit especially over the longer-term. It would be nice to have this effort that women make in sex more formally acknowledged.