Why an appreciation of eroticism is important

Our ability to become sexually aroused through an appreciation of eroticism is a normal as well as a necessary part of human sexuality. Sex (male arousal and orgasm in particular) leads to family and yet hypocritically, while family is encouraged, sex remains taboo.
Men learn about orgasm through masturbation. As young boys (pre-teens) they explore their arousal because an erect penis is difficult to ignore. Women do not experience spontaneous sexual arousal through erections and so they have no similar reason to explore how their genitals might react to stimulation through female masturbation.
Many women like to think of sex in terms of ‘making love’ to someone they love. So they are often shocked by eroticism but this shows a lack of understanding about the nature of sexual pleasure. After all, our enjoyment of eroticism is at the heart of our sexuality.
Women are often blissfully unaware that men masturbate regularly throughout their lives. Men cover up the strength of their sexual urges because women can sometimes be insensitive about men’s passion for sex. The daily sales of pornographic magazines are a clue. Of course, men have a higher sex drive but also they enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm.
Women, who masturbate, enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm in much the same way. They use sexual fantasies (based on their appreciation of eroticism) to bring their sexual arousal to orgasm through genital stimulation (of the clitoris).
Women who have never masturbated do not understand this. The vast majority of women are disgusted by eroticism. They never discover their own sexual arousal so they cannot understand why anyone would ever want to stimulate their genitals.
Many of these women suggest that orgasm happens naturally during sex without making any conscious efforts to engage on their own sexual arousal either mental or physical. This defies common sense and yet no one questions these assertions.
“Unlike a boy’s very obvious penis, which he knows is pleasurable to touch and fondle, a girl’s genitals are hidden, mysterious, remote. I find it remarkable (and disturbing) that many women have never used a mirror to see what their genitals look like and to find out where their clitoris is.” (p106 EveryMan 1980)
If men learn about how their sexual arousal works through masturbation, how does it make sense that women experience orgasm as men do but without any learning process at all? Everyone thinks it is so natural that all men masturbate but that female masturbation has no similar role for women.
Women who do not masturbate for pleasure will assure me that they have an idyllic sexual relationship with their partner. I think that’s great but I often wonder what the men think. Men do not see sex purely in terms of family or ‘making love’. Men also want to enjoy sexual pleasure with a partner.
I have never found any pornography I have seen (magazines or film) offensive. I focus on the men rather that the women but I never think that the women’s bodies are ‘dirty’ or that sex makes the women ‘bad’ in some way. So I have always enjoyed exploring eroticism both alone and with a partner.
If the average woman was more tuned into eroticism and open to exploring sexual activity with a partner then fewer men would be looking for sex with a prostitute.